Complete.

First of alllll, congrats to alll speech day performers. you guys were great! yup i've been awake for some time now though i only went to sleep like around 1 after chit chatting with maxtorrr. Anyways back to speech day. it was nothing much, DUH. just that we've got our certs and blablabla. its unfair i don't have much pics in my cam! it's all with nick and the rest... it was one longggg wait as our was the last... we got ties of different colour! hehehe. and a badge which i think is pretty unnecessary. make us look like librarians or something. so i was playing the helicopter thingy game on maxtor's iphone. LAG!!! i'm getting pretty good at it, well compared to the first few times i've tried. i'm tech-impaired, according to min. TRUE. the last time i played fifa on ps2, i scored 8 own goals. anyhoooos.. after that while walking out maxtor said he wanted to makan and i wanted to as well. so i told him i'll put my stuff in class first coz there was gonna be drama practice. thennnnn i got caught up, practiced with carmen and stuff. omgggg i didnt know its such a hugeee crime, max. im not the ffk kinda person i swear! OKAY so we practiced and everything. stella was one fierceee maid. i was supposed to leave around 4 but i found out my cousin left subang so my driver was already on the way. dropped min, stella and carmen at around 7-e to bind our moral folio. i left. then went back home, changed.. went to paddington's for lunch. bought make-ups and stuff for cyrens.. got the only shade closest to what i wanted from shu uemura. came home. AND SLACK. you know what, that's what i've been doing recently. i have long days and whenever i get home. i either lie on the floor wasting my time away talking on the phone, or chatting online, or texting(as if i can't do that while doing something else). and today i'm supposed to watch get smart but i figure, just chill at home! i need it, really.

And there was this something random on my mind when everyone was singing happy bday for this certain vip. can relate that to a king or president for example. they look as if they have everything, but ever wonder deep inside, they're feeling pretty empty? and most might think they have but it takes time for them to realise they don't have much. I think i've been there, and i've got over that stage. For once i feel pretty complete and very contented. Partly coz the people who matters to me are in good place, and i'm in a very good place in life as well. I'm becoming more selfless day by day, surprise no? I learnt alot and there was a time where all i could think of is myself and i was pretty selfish. and i wasn't much a thinker. i just couldn't care as much. but now i've learnt to think things through and also find balance. At times i surprise myself at how all i want is for the ppl around me to be happy. again, its surprising that i constantly PRAY for them. and i smile when i know they're happy. and i hope for the best for them, coz they mean the world to me. And just like when i was told that her heart skips a beat, and all that good stuff landing on her.. though its not happening to me, its a pretty nice feeling. i've come to identify that its the I'M HAPPY FOR HER feeling. Andd I'm so sooo grateful for all the ppl around me.. and yes.. they spoil me. for a certain ppl, after all we've been through, i really appreciate how we're still cool. now even when i have trouble at home, i know i have a support system elsewhere; my friends. well not just friends. they're like my addition set of siblings. i've gotten quite comfortable with quite alot of them. i've seen them cry and they've seen me cry as well. i feel thankful for all the ppl who was there for my brother and i when we were going through rough times.. and thank him for being there for me and i'll always try my best to be there for him as well. Anddd even in my class, i have an army of chef, bodyguard and whatnot and they call me their princess!!! hahaha coz for a start i did something bimbotic and it was a mistake okay!! i think as a result of how everyone spoils me, i'm losing things, material wise. being so careless, spoiling my phone, dropping my camera, losing my simcard. i've never had such things happening to me and now i'm always like that. Still, i laugh at how foolish i can be, i'm just less materialistic. i guess it takes time to get out of the 'BLIND STATE' and start seeing how much i actually have and be thankful. One thing i would share, the previous school holiday. towards the 2nd week, however busy i was... i have cried myself to sleep. and continuously dreamt of the same damn thing for 5 days. though there's always someone calling me to make sure i stop thinking and sleep, or even its my brother who came over to my room to chat till im tired, i lied and i was still up after i get off the phone. i think it was a wake up call for me and to know who are the ones who are really there for me. and who are the ones who only wanted something from me. and i started getting real. i made up my mind and if i'm sad, i'm not gonna say i'm happy. i'm not going to deny. i let go of all grudges, and realised it is okay to forgive without forgetting. i've cleared quite alot of issues with certain ppl. let go of my mistakes and i've forgiven myself, thats most important. i've learnt alot and i won't stop coz life for me, is a learning process. =) However selfless i'm becoming, i still believe in this one thing i've always believed: If you don't love and adore yourself, don't expect anyone else to love or adore you. Hurts to see some of them who don't. but i'll work on knocking them in their heads :D

WOW long post. i guess i'm missing heart to heart talks with my frenziesss because all i've been doing is fool around and we crap around. And another cousin's leaving for aus. a good listener and he doesnt mind driving allll the way to somewhere really far just for a drink. despite our age, i'm glad he thinks all my advice for him makes sense! all the best for him there and he better bring a gift back for me!

Anddd really sorry for you ppl who have been contacting my digi num as for some of you its not cheap! i'll get my phone back asap!! Hungry and its time for my 2nd breakfast! ciaozzz for now. lovelove!

PuiYee :)